Staying with WHAT IS – Day 20

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Well mine can!

And she doesn’t even have to be in the same room for that. Not even in the same time zone.

Go figure!

Talked to her on the phone yesterday and still digesting the impact she had on me. Didn’t sleep well as talking to her just stirred up so much stuff. Woke up all flustered, forgot half of my things when I left the house in the morning and was just not able to calm my system down. I found it difficult to concentrate and ground myself.

I noticed it especially in my yoga class this morning, as my balance was off, my breathing felt constricted and I got so emotional in the chest opening back bends that I had to spend a lot of time resting in child’s pose.

Yes, I know I am an adult woman now well into my 30ies, but there are things my Mothers says that make me feel like a little girl again and not in a good way.

When get mistreated or neglected as children, even unintentionally, we would have felt anger which is a healthy reaction to maintain our boundaries. Unfortunately many of us got punished or shamed for expressing anger which caused us to suppress it. Because the anger has been kept inside for so long it affects or body and nervous system.

As a result we may become:

  • Passive-aggressive
  • Depressive
  • Moody
  • Overly critical
  • Impatient
  • Prone to addictions
  • Self -Destructive
  • Challenged in surrendering and letting go
  • Tense in the muscles of the neck, jaw and shoulders

So what can we do to support ourselves with that?

  • As much self-soothing and relaxation exercises as possible to strengthen the nervous system
  • Finding safe ways to release your anger (e.g. hitting a cushion),
  • Write a letter to your parents (which you won’t sent) telling them how you felt wronged
  • Learning assertiveness skills.

And of course in the spirit of Yoga, strengthen YOUR CORE!


What I am grateful for today:

  • The following quote by Thich Nhat Hanh:“When another person makes you suffer, it is because he suffers deeply within himself, and his suffering is spilling over. He does not need punishment; he needs help. That’s the message he is sending.”
  • My yoga practice this morning
  • Being able to work on this issue

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